"C'mere, I just want to talk to you don't be afraid I'm not going to HURT you come on I just want to talk to you it's ok COME HERE"
maybe I should have crossed the street but he didn't seem that scary, just drunk and he was dressed like someone going to DIT and not like a bro and he was my age. But then he grabbed me and his friends were saying stuff like "Oh she looks so scared" and he was like "I'm not going to HURT you are you on your way to DIT? Going to see Defiance, OH? Com on I just want to TALK to you, why are you afraid of me?!?!?"
And I wanted to say: because you're bigger and stronger than me, and you smell like beer, and I'm alone, but you have 4 or 5 punk friends with you and all of you are drinking. And I wanted to say something to the girls standing around saying that I look scared, like wouldn't you be?
I walked away and said sorry, like it was my fault, and I said that "I just don't like this" because I couldn't think of anything else to say, and I saw my friend Brett in the distance, and I wanted to feel like I wasn't the center of attention and like I was being a bitch. And he's yelling after me, "Oh, you don't like meeting new people. You don't like making friends. Fuck that"
When I got there I told Brett about it- and he and Eddie were all "What did he look like? Who is he?" but I shrugged it off because (I think Bri used this term in a zine) "macho boy revenge" isn't really the answer, the answer is stop treating women like shit.
I don't know anymore.
OH ANNIE
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that this happened to you! What assholes, I don't have any patience when it comes to that kind of behavior. Something similar to your story happened to me once and I got really enraged, yelled at him and then punched him in the stomach. But mainly cause he stole my bike and crashed it into the sidewalk down the street...
You should take a self defense class! They offer them at the rec center! Sadly I have yet to take one but I've always wanted too, and I'd totally do it with you!
i had a crusty punk dude say something similar to me at euro gyro once. i wonder if it was the same guy. i just can't believe the nerve of some people. and to not only accost you, but then TOUCH you. i wish i could've been there to punch him (or at least tell him to fuck off.)
ReplyDeletewhat i don't get is, why would you start off with "i'm not gonna hurt you." that, to me, kinda sounds in the same vein as people who start things with "i'm not racist/sexist/homophobic BUT"...aka yes you are. how the fuck are you to know this guy isn't going to hurt you? does he not realize we live in a world where men are constantly trying to hurt us (intentionally or not)? aaaah fuck that!
i'm so sorry, though. i'm usually not so tough when i'm alone, either. it somehow gets harder to be when you have no one to back you up. don't feel bad for just walking away. and don't feel like a bitch. who cares if they thought you were being one? they were being fucking dicks.
Thishi- I want to take a dance class with you, I don't want to have to do self-defense. but I guess I should and it's a shitty symptom of a shitty world when you're a woman.
ReplyDeleteBri- If I hadn't been alone I'm pretty sure the whole thing wouldn't have happened. I've never had someone grab me before like that except for like, being groped one time in high school and I had no idea what to do. Ugh. I just hate everything